~Gemini62167

I remember way back when I first started taking shots. The wonderful feeling of discovery for myself. It was the first time that I had something in my life that gave me purpose and meaning. That was almost twenty years ago. It has only been this past year since I've regained the courage to lift a camera to my eye, that I have felt the need to to express something in my images. I've gone through a dry spell as of late and I realize that part of this is because I had little to say. It wasn't enough to take clever shots with unique angles or unusual perspectives. I had gotten bored with myself and my images.

I had never really considered myself an artist. I think that was because I had never realized that being an artist usually means conveying a messege or idea in ones work. I had no idea that I had anything to say for any reason, let alone a means to say it. Now when I look at some of my work I can see it plain as day. I see my own feelings of isolation and waywardness in this world. I see my own loneliness and fear. I see those things that philosophically I feel to be true and don't expect nor want a cure for. I see my own battle with what some call the "human condition" Oh what the fuck! The human condition LOL. How silly, how blah blah blah psudo intellectiual. I've always hated that phrase!

I wondered for a long time why I couldn't even force myself to take "pretty" shots or "sellable" shots. It's because they're meaningless to me. They say nothing. They're pretty pictures - thats it. Not that theres anything wrong with pretty pictures. Sometimes I wish I could do it. But it's just not happening at the moment. I'm not interested in selling anything.

Anywho... time to sleep.